Back to School Blues

Zoe back to school 2018

How is it that we’re already standing on the threshold of a brand new school year? Somehow I’ve been thrown back into schedules, early mornings, packing lunches, rushing out the door. When I feel like I had just closed the chapter on that routine mere days ago. How did two whole months of summer bliss dissolve in thin air? Summer holidays, as a kid seemed like an endless stretch of hot, hazy sunshiny moments. Summer holidays, as a mom, flew by in a mere blink.

It seems like just yesterday that I was fretting about Zoe being finished her first year of school. I was worried about how to keep her entertained, how to keep her ever busy mind learning and stretching. I was fully expecting that I would be singing along with the Staples commercial “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” as I packed her backpack for the first day back. Instead, I have totally been dreading today.

This summer has been, I’m sure, the summer that I’m going to compare all summers to. Our mornings were lazy and unrushed. Our afternoons were spent swimming, biking, hiking, camping, reading, napping, drawing, gardening. And our evenings were slow as we threw out the schedules and embraced the long, bright hours that stretched languidly before dusk.

I got to know my girls on a totally different level these past couple of months. I got to see them interact together in ways I only dreamed they would. Before my very eyes, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing a sweet friendship blossom. (Yes, they still fight. I can attest to that. But we are miles ahead of where we were a few months ago.) This past summer I’ve felt truly at home in my own skin as a stay-at-home mom. I’ve felt myself embrace the role I’ve been called to for this very moment. I’ve noticed more and been present more with my girls.

And now, the arrival of September brings it all to a screeching halt. So yes, today was a hard day. For me. And Elsie. Zoe excitedly hopped off to school this morning, overly-patterned outfit, light-up shoes, and curly blonde braids. Elsie and I went about our day, accomplishing a lot (because, let’s be honest, getting errands done with only one kid opposed to two is so much easier!), but we were somewhat lost and a little forlorn.

It’s going to take a bit, easing back into real life again. I know somewhere amidst the permission slips, pizza lunch orders, extra laundry and volunteer hours that I’ll hit my groove again and will enjoy the predictability of this routine. For now, though, I’m going to allow myself to be a little sad as we close the door on summer 2018.


  • Irene Geleynse

    Love Zoe’s colourful outfit! I can see how it’s hard to start again (especially with this hot weather!) but I wish you all a great school year!

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